Pastoral Paradox

It’s my job to prepare young adults to live effective Christian lives that are not dependent on their parents and me. It’s one of the hardest parts of my work. Pastors all over the world know that feeling. It encourages you and hurts you all at the same time. It’s encouraging to see the people that I have poured my life into move forward in what God has for them. It hurts to see these same people leave and no longer be immediately available. I call this the pastoral paradox.

I recently had a young lady that wanted to sit down and talk with me about her life, and right away fear struck me, “Is she going to tell me of her intentions to leave?”, I thought. My heart sank, and I had no idea what the purpose of our conversation would be. That is the tension present within this profession.

Any pastor worth his/her salt would want their followers to fulfill their God given destiny. The challenge arises when that destiny is somewhere else. I have seen great people of God grow increasingly offended at the thought that someone would leave their ministry. The truth is that we are not to be the final stop for everyone. This is especially true for me as a college pastor. Most of my students will leave to pursue the careers that their degrees demand.

I am learning to hold on to people loosely. This job requires that we lead with open hands. We are to carefully watch the sheep God has given us and keep them from harm. Conversely, we are to bless them into whatever God has for them. Some times that thing God has is away from us. It hurts to see the birdies fly from the nest, but I am proud to be the one who gave them the lessons necessary for soaring. That’s the pastoral paradox.

The rub is that people won’t always leave when I am ready for them to, but rather when they sense God’s leading. Even if I see a crash and burn coming, it can be more detrimental to try to stop them from taking the chance than to let them learn through the things they suffer. The goal should ever be to teach people so well that even if they are not successful in their attempt they know how to follow God’s leading to get back up. Pastors should not be assessed based on the amount of people they can seat, but rather the amount of people they send.